Girl In Translation
Black No MoreIf Living Color was a book written in 1933, it would be almost this comical.
- By PavarottiShakur
- 26 October, 2013
- No Comments
…And then he said, “I’m 100% African…there were no stops in between.” Ha ha ha.
HI. I did not know you were there.
Have you seen Preachers of L.A.? Show so good…
It’s like bacon marinated in cocaine.
My O my…the perms, the dresses, the dolled up poodles and I won’t even get started on the women of the show.
Every time I watch my life has new meaning. My face holes become eyes, my mouth makes sounds, the big circle at night becomes a bright blue moon, and hyper text markup language becomes Facebook.
For the first time us ordinary church goers are able to get close to men of the cloth that like to floss.
They are commonly known as prosperity preachers – preachers that teach it is God’s will to never be sick, never use WIC, and never want for anything because you always been rich.
One thing that has always astounding me is that you never see a pastor with a busted wife.
Not only is she not busted often times she’s exotic. On a scale from 1 to 10 the chick is ∞ infinity.
You’ve got to long stare this woman just to figure out where she from. I mean did he build her! Is this the BET version of Weird Science.
One time I was watching a tv preacher. Even though he was a little hokie his message was still encouraging and fairly sound. So I thought I should ask my brother what he thought of the man. Off put by the preacher’s wavy well gelled hair my brother replied, “I could never trust a pastor that spends that much time on his hair. I’ve got waves and they take way to long to maintain. There’s no way a man with that much time vested in his appearance could have time to read his bible.”
He was right. Waves do take too long. And common knowledge is that spirituality pulls us closer to truth and further from the preoccupations of materialism.
If you have really truly defeated the desires of your flesh kung fu panda style, shouldn’t you have married someone with a deep spirit you know a negro the speaks of rivers. Someone who has words that astound you every time they open their mouth. Traits that fine women are not encouraged to pursue.
Shouldn’t you be so blind to sex appeal that all you need to do is Ray Charles your hands over some girls face and know that “you’da’one’gurl.”
Then there’s the nice clothes, nice cars, and spinning rims.
These observations make it clear that these men want the same thing every man wants. Like Rappers want all black everything. These Preachers want ALL BIG ASS EVERYTHING. BIG ASS pinky rings. BIG ASS houses. BIG ASS benzos. And last but certainly not least a wife with a BIG OL’ASS.
Now I’m not implying that there is something wrong with material things. I’m flat out saying that there is something wrong with material things.
Face it. No man with a million dollar home and a bentley is eager to leave this world. Don’t even mention dieing for a cause. “Dieing…,” I can hear Reverend Dr Martin Little King of First Def Jam Church saying, “For these ungrateful ninjas…”
Will the church survive such bad representation?
What will the landscape of pastoring look like after this?
What will the reaction be to pastors across the globe when viewers see this?
I don’t know. All I know is that the Oxygen network has done what nobody has been able to do for the church in hundreds of years — start a reformation.
**LASTLY I WANT TO SAY THERE ARE GOOD PASTORS AND GOOD CHURCHES OUT THERE. I DON’T KNOW OF ANY. BUT THERE HAS TO BE. RIGHT? **
Any way, I love and hope to meet all the polite conversationalist spread across the globe. All 18 of you.