Top 5 things you should do if police kill me #IfPoliceKilledMe

It's only fair to share...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someonePin on PinterestShare on Tumblr

1.)  Kick Sum’then!Mookie with trash can

I really do want you to make a scene. Know that in life I abhor silence: Silent vigils, moments of silence, silence of the lambs. I hate silence. Show your love for ya’boy by kicking a trash can over for ya’boy.

eric garner flash mob2.) Do not recite any spoken words

Please please! I repeat…..please do not recite any lily livered spoken words to commemorate me. That is some passive aggressive youtube click bait sh!t. Naw B. That’s too self-interested.  That’s like the bride’s maid trying to outshine the bride. It’s my day. Make it about me.  Unless you Tupac Shakur or you that negro that speaks rivers like Khalil Gibran or you Jesus at the last supper please do not do no wack sh!t like that for me.  And by wack sh!t I mean poems that make people sad or sympathetic.  Naw, I wish to rest in power not in sorrow.  If you must recite poetry about me, make sure that sh!t GOES HARD.  Like Bob Marley Iron Like A Lion from Zion HARD or DJ Khaled I’m so Hood HARD.

3.) Hosts Rioting The Right Way classes…serve cupcakes, have an agenda, and make sure it doesn’t go longer than 1 hour.

Pops you got to coordinateIf God answers my prayer, then my untimely and unjust demise will be met with an organized and fashionable resistance. Before you materialistic ninjas start running around causing havoc please make sho’yall is matching. PLEASE. If you wearing the Jordan Ele’ums and he wearing the thirteens, then you are going to be separated quicker than Vh-1 separated Benzino and Stevie J — it’s easy to divide and conquer people that don’t pre-grame. History will not be kind to you either. They won’t give you a respectable name. They’ll just call it a riot. Now if you’re uniformed they’ll give you a name that strikes fear in the hearts of men. Why is this important? If you can coordinate your dress then you have succeeded at the hardest tasks ever — coordinating your minds.

Do not burn down the sh!t u need! Have leadership! Have MEETINGS! Have HAND SIGNALS.  Do nothing on emotion. Target your destruction and shed no blood lest it be in self defense.  Find a non destructive non violent way of causing White people’s property to depreciate.

4.) Be a nigga for’uh’day… just wun!

denze -washington in glory
I boast having lots of really smart high functioning friends. But they are more inclined to analyze my memorial riot and write about my memorial riot than they are to participate in my memorial riot. They are more likely to publish a thesis about some Intersectionality sh!t than they are to kick a trash can over. If you educated, business owning, wealthy mofos don’t roll up your sleeves, my condescending side eye from Thugz Mansion will be ever fixed upon you.

5.) Do not ever say things like, “PavarottiShakur would not want a riot.” No, PavarottiShakur wants a riot!

Michael Brown StepdadSolomon said “to everything there is a season….there is a time for love and a time for hatred.” That’s right so get in contact wit’cho God given right to be angry about losing one of the best people OF ALL TIMES….ME. Do whatever it takes to get in touch with your inner negro. Do a say-once to contact your slaved ancestors, watch Alex Haley’s Roots, every 6 seconds replay Denzel getting whipped in Glory (all he wanted was’uh’slice of that good’ol’Merikan pie).

Honorable Mentions:

#6 Do not let Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson speak on my behalf.

#7 Bury me inside a Gucci store and then Burn Gucci down to the GROUND!